Post by Amanita Vernia on Apr 15, 2005 8:10:16 GMT -5
ETERNAL ANTIDOTE
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He is dead.
Those words repeat, constant, in my head. He is dead. A part of me came alive with his touch. He is dead. So much more is gone than just a slave. He was a man. He was my love. He is dead. I have shut out the world, post-pone my expedition, refused company. I sleep because I can see him there in my dreams. When I wake, I feel as if I have died, maybe I wish it would of been my heart the dagger bled, but he is dead.
My Naga, beautiful and grotesque, blind and all seeing, no longer.
This is not the first man who has spent his life to save my own. Arculeius, who's father was killed protecting me in the Tahari, reminds me that he would of been killed for stabbing a free person even if the man had attacked me first. He was a slave and the world does not value him the same. I know he says this to put my mind at ease, to erase that pain that brings my entire body into a numb existence. He brought up the expedition yesterday trying to get me to remember myself.
I stay in my room mostly, but I do know a few things that have taken place over the last few months. Arculeius for one has found something to occupy his other eye, the lady scribe, but sadly her work transcribing for us is finished so he has to pretend to run errands to watch her. Thaddaus as always is up to no good, he would be a rich man for all he steals if not for his gambling. He has taken to Schendi's dark wharfs well.
I have a new dressing slave. The former girl boldly thought to ask about the mark on my thigh one morning and found herself slapped halfway across the room. I demanded she be slain for it, but I know Thaddaus, he only sold her to one of the black slavers on the condition they sent her on the next shipment out of the city. I would almost think the new girl hasn't a tongue as quite as she is, but I am sure she was warned ahead and like all slaves would prefer to serve any other than a free woman.
The one I have lost track of is the Sin, but this is of little surprise. Perhaps he has found work in the city, Schendi holds onto her secrets tightly and his talents of extraction would have a great value. Then again he could be held up in a room, either in the house or at a nicer inn, memorizing some text on botany. I feel inadequate at times in my area of expertise, and it is only a hobby of his. I am glad we are not enemies, then again, one can never be too sure of such a thing. I suppose, like my beautiful pet, when my time arrives, I too will hear the angles screaming.
Rest your eyes, my antidote.... I will see you soon.[/color]
